My personal journey of HOPE

³ We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. ⁴ And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident HOPE of salvation. ⁵ And this HOPE will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5 NLT

              

        

      Growing up I was the hopeful one, I had this tendency to believe the best in people and circumstances. I was the odd ball in my family as I was raised in a culture of negativity; especially my Nana and I spent a lot of time with miss negative Nancy. She was never satisfied, always suspicious of people’s motives and a grump. I had to work at my sunny disposition but I wore it like a badge of honor. Until one Tuesday night November of 2008 when that hope I had cultivated for 28 years was flickering and fading.  I woke up that night in a heap of ugly sobs, threw myself on the floor and pleaded with God to restore my dying hope. That moment was significant for two reasons: I, the professed atheist who hated God was on her knees PRAYING for the FIRST time and I had realized who I truly was after a lifetime of never being sure. Sure circumstances had brought me to my knees but for all the drama and stress surrounding me  the loss of hope made me feel like I could barely breathe.
     Now the hope I had before that night was fueled by my own strength and wisdom, and now nearly seven years into my journey with God I understand how puny that hope was and why it failed me and have great confidence that the hope I have now, which is fueled by the resurrection of Jesus, God's promises, God's righteousness, The Gospel, God's glory, my Salvation, Eternal Life, God's grace, mercy, forgiveness and love. That hope is permanent and will never fail me. Now, I am a mere human wrapped in flesh that often gets tricked up by fickle feelings and attacks from the enemy but no matter how emotionally or physically wrecked I have been since Jesus saved my life I have never lost hope because my hope is deeply rooted. The evidence of my hope was once shown through my love of sunshine, stickers, butterflies and other silly worldly things. The evidence of my hope from Christ is in God's love for me in my heart right now and the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life. 

      The hope Paul writes of in Romans 5:3-5 will seem foreign and even impossible if you don't have the Holy Spirit inside of you. If I would have read that seven years ago I would have tried to rip it apart. For me the most exiting and amazing thing about accepting Jesus into your heart and life is the slew of knowledge and insight you gain into every aspect of life. From my studies of Scripture I have come to define hope as: a confident expectation, to cherish a desire with holy anticipation because of my trust and dependence of Jesus as my Lord and Savior. 



Friends, 
     For the next 12 weeks I will be here twice a week. Every Saturday I will share more of my personal journey of Hope and what I have learned from studying Scripture. Hope is my word of 2015, I chose it to have a better understanding of who God has made me and His will for my life. On Tuesdays I will be sharing more of my life with you, the mess God turned into an amazing message and testimony of redemption. This Tuesday, August 25th I will share with you what the circumstances were that brought me to my knees for the first time.  Thank you for joining me as I begin this exciting chapter of my journey with God. I want to thank Linda Kuhar (http://www.lindakuhar.com/) for following God's calling on her life and offering an amazing blessing to me and so many others that finally got me to obey God's call and my #forevertwinie Moriah for sharing Romans 5:3-5 earlier this week and for keeping me accountable as I step up and out! 

My #forevertwinie