A blog hop in a bloghopless world: Week 1 of #BeforeAmen and the #pocketprayer

Father, You are good.

What astonishes me is how very differently You fashioned each of us, how You have individually equipped us to relate to You and each other. I am so thankful that Your goodness always seems to be my main focus, even in those moments when I can’t breathe or when I got the phone call no mother figure and big sister ever wants to get and even when doctors declared a death sentence upon me. Growing up I longed for a Grandmother, a Mom and really a family who could see the good in life and who looked forward to the day ahead instead of waking up always feeling behind. My positive outlook on life was one of our greatest divides but You implanted that desire to see the good even before You came for me.

I need help.

There isn’t a second in my day when this isn’t true. I never could have handled being sickly before You rescued me. Being raised to trust and depend on no one left me marked with a destructive sense of independence. This illness has forever changed the hard heart I once had that couldn’t reach out for help and never wanted to accept it.

Heal me and forgive me.

I know that I will be healed, it may be here on earth but it will defiantly be in Heaven and I have not only accepted that but thrive because of it. I don’t need ultimate healing here on earth, You have showed me all there is for me to do in this life and how I actually live more now than I ever did before You. I live out loud now, ready to face the day: clean, sober and passionate. I never considered myself a good person, I was a villain who made horrible choices and only ever thought of myself and my brother. I didn’t care who I lied to, who I drove drunk and who was left in the wake of my fear to commit. It took me nearly three years to accept the forgiveness You offered when I repented of my life style before You freed me. Now I am set on a path to liberate other women from the prison of guilt, shame and comparisons. You have loved me in a way I never thought I deserved and Your desire to spend time with me and hear what I have to say redeemed me.

They need help.

I struggle with who to pray for because I don’t want to leave anyone out. You have guaranteed me simply lifting the world up is obedience enough to let go of those who are hurt, desperate, in need of love, financial stability, clarity and so much more; that You will take care of the rest. I have heard form You that we need to  agree to take whatever answer You give, we need to listen and be ready for Your miracles, Your noes, your yeses and Your not yets.

Thank you.

There is a lot I have learned in therapy but the greatest tool is when my mind won’t shut off, when the worries of my health, my excitement for all You are doing for me, through me and in me or that late night caffeine that helped my lungs but is keeping me awake’ that sheep are not the answer, all I need to do is start listing or counting all the blessings You have given me and I not only drift off quickly but have written those blessings on my heart ready for any storm or trail that may come.

In Jesus name, Amen.

My comforter, redeemer, Prince of peace, Lord of Lords, son of God, Emmanuel and mighty to save just to list a few of Your glorious names!

Psalm 136 The Message (MSG)

136 ^1-3 Thank God! He deserves your thanks.
    His love never quits.
Thank the God of all gods,
    His love never quits.
Thank the Lord of all lords.
    His love never quits.

^4-22 Thank the miracle-working God,
    His love never quits.
The God whose skill formed the cosmos,
    His love never quits.
The God who laid out earth on ocean foundations,
    His love never quits.
The God who filled the skies with light,
    His love never quits.
The sun to watch over the day,
    His love never quits.
Moon and stars as guardians of the night,
    His love never quits.
The God who struck down the Egyptian firstborn,
    His love never quits.
And rescued Israel from Egypt’s oppression,
    His love never quits.
Took Israel in hand with his powerful hand,
    His love never quits.
Split the Red Sea right in half,
    His love never quits.
Led Israel right through the middle,
    His love never quits.
Dumped Pharaoh and his army in the sea,
    His love never quits.
The God who marched his people through the desert,
    His love never quits.
Smashed huge kingdoms right and left,
    His love never quits.
Struck down the famous kings,
    His love never quits.
Struck Sihon the Amorite king,
    His love never quits.
Struck Og the Bashanite king,
    His love never quits.
Then distributed their land as booty,
    His love never quits.
Handed the land over to Israel.
    His love never quits.

^23-26 God remembered us when we were down,
    His love never quits.
Rescued us from the trampling boot,
    His love never quits.
Takes care of everyone in time of need.
    His love never quits.
Thank God, who did it all!
    His love never quits!