|This was really the way I always saw you, no matter how big you grew you are this kiddo, always and until I see you again in Heaven! - Dave @ 6 w\Mom|
I was six and dreading your arrival, knowing the instant you were planed your life would be painful and I would carry the weight of it but of course no one listened. For me your birth had expected complication and I cried a chorus of I told you so: a puppy would have been easier! In my most selfish moments your life felt like a noose, your needs ending me. People thought I was being a dramatic child but I saw your limitations first and I feared the burden of them. You were MY baby brother and most of the time even more: my child to nurture and protect. I love you more than anyone on this earth. It alarmed me realizing I loved Jesus even more when my love for you was the most dependable love either of us knew and it was unadulterated devotion. Then you were gone, too soon and as much as I moaned about your life starting the pain of it ending ripped me apart. It has been 730 days since I stood over you alone sobbing as the last of your earthly moments of life drifted away. Mom introduced you into the world and I was there ushering you to Heaven.