“You’re a zebra in a pony show, you wear your faith just like a light standing up for Jesus name living out what you believe being who you were made to be. Oh for Heaven’s sake, you’re unusual and unashamed.” Unusual by Francesca Battestelli
A few months ago when this album was released a friend texted and said number four so describes you! Of course I had been blasting the CD since it was released and there had been one song that filled me with a joy I didn’t understand, gave me a sense of peace and a feeling of accomplishment and that I had repeated more than any other song. When I clicked over to specifically check out track four I quickly realized that was the song I had been so drawn to and why I had been so drawn to it: that is me! My favorite lyric is, “you’re a zebra in a pony show.” I surround myself with amazing women of Christ: friends, accountability partners, mentors, leaders, servants and prayer warriors but God has given me something that I don’t quite see in anyone else around me: completely, blind faith. It is my illness that got me here and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but then again maybe I would.
The moment I let go the day I was saved by grace and stopped trying to control and squash what God was doing inside of me was the moment I also felt my lungs start to give out. For hours that day I had thought I was running on adrenaline and excitement like I never had before and my body was reacting strangely but the truth was Satan tried to oppress and depress me by inflicting me with a terminal illness and God immediately started using it for good. I can still feel this spiritual battle within me daily, this pull going on inside of my body because God will not let my earthly body give way before His plans with me are finished but the enemy of my soul tries to use pain and a lack of breathe to discourage me from living out loud and in God’s will. I have my moments when I don’t understand what makes me so special, why either God or Satan would care about my salvation so much but the truth is we are all in the middle of this battle to one degree or another.
Two weeks before this album was released God had been speaking to me about the specific plans He had for me in reaching out to women and sharing how loved, cherished, pursued and chosen they are by the Lord of Lords, I was coming to the end of one of my prisoner to my body terms, this one was nearly five months long, and I was having some serious Moses like doubts: how could I, trapped indoors so much of the time, possibly reach any women and share this amazing truth with them. God is so patient with me and we often have this back and forth, a lot like you read about in Exodus 3, and He reminded me that my gift of writing was still waiting to be utilized for the Kingdom. At this point I was reacting to those gentle writing nudges with a three year old mentality and folding my arms in front of me and stomping away. He also promised that my time in the latest sickness wilderness would be coming to an end and I He had much for me to accomplish. Plus, other than Jesus the biggest part of my life is the care of THREE young boys, where and how was I going to get women to listen to me about God. But, God delivers and most of the time more than I ever expected possible in the coolest God wink ways! A small Bible study started with a high school gal from my home church, over the summer I was well enough to attend four sessions at church and lead tables of people in discussion over hot topics and how Christians should respond and met many women who desperately needed the message God had equipped me to relay and when Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study started up again He had stirred a fire to be involved in a way I never had before. He is also constantly reminding me of the ministry He had already put in my life years ago which is made up of all women. I am back in a season of being home bound but are more productive for the Kingdom today than I ever have been before because I am only taking God assignment for my life and not trying to do things that God does not have for me. I also refuse to dim the SONlight that I know radiates from me, God put it there for a reason so I could attract those who are hurting and give them the greatest, most precious gift: Jesus!
9-10 “The Israelite cry for help has come to me, and I’ve seen for myself how cruelly they’re being treated by the Egyptians. It’s time for you to go back: I’m sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the People of Israel, out of Egypt.”
11 Moses answered God, “But why me? What makes you think that I could ever go to Pharaoh and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt?”
12 “I’ll be with you,” God said. “And this will be the proof that I am the one who sent you: When you have brought my people out of Egypt, you will worship God right here at this very mountain.”
13 Then Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the People of Israel and I tell them, ‘The God of your fathers sent me to you’; and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ What do I tell them?”
14 God said to Moses, “I-AM-WHO-I-AM. Tell the People of Israel, ‘I-AM sent me to you.’”
15 God continued with Moses: “This is what you’re to say to the Israelites: ‘God, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob sent me to you.’ This has always been my name, and this is how I always will be known.
16-17 “Now be on your way. Gather the leaders of Israel. Tell them, ‘God, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, appeared to me, saying, “I’ve looked into what’s being done to you in Egypt, and I’ve determined to get you out of the affliction of Egypt and take you to the land of the Canaanite, the Hittite, the Amorite, the Perizzite, the Hivite, and the Jebusite, a land brimming over with milk and honey.”’
Exodus 3:9-17 MSG